We spend enough time searching for validation from people. As a woman, I used to seek not only the acceptance of my parents and teachers, but also through my friendships and boys. Yeah, I said it. The male species has taught me concepts about myself that I wasn't even aware of. Men consciously and thoroughly remind me to not settle, not make any shit easy, as well as how I want to be loved. So I thank you for that. I don't regret any experience or encounter that I've had with a man. They all have played a part in the woman that I am becoming and although things didn't work out - we should learn from that pain, channel it and harness it into something stronger.
"Time don't go back - it goes forward. 'Can't run from the pain, go towards it."
It's in our deepest, darkest moments that we often find ourselves at a crossroads - do you stay on the current path or do you take another direction? I've become more aware of who I am through my pain. I've seen where I've come, but more importantly where I want to go.
I wear my heart on my sleeve and it's not something that I've ever been proud of - but it's also something that I have to work on. People will take advantage of your love, kindness, and brilliance because we're all trying to figure this thing called "life" out. I spoke in another post about how maybe people weren't raised with the same kind of love, or more importantly maybe they weren't raised with any love at all. We have to forgive them, but also ourselves. For the continuous shortcomings, failures, desires that can never seem to be quite met. The only validation or approval you need is from yourself. I don't believe that you should settle for anything less than what you truly want because why not? The only thing stopping you from your hopes and dreams is you not believing that you can achieve them.
"So dream your dreams. And don't let anyone take them away from you, never let them go."
- 13 Reasons Why
Photographed By: djteck_
Most women have dealt with body issues, that's really to no surprise. We live in a society built on classifying women by the approval of degenerate men. We live in a world that praises a narrow definition of beauty and diminishes what is to be considered ugly, or unpleasing to the male eye. How do we break a mold that stimulates off of our sexuality. Sex trafficking exists in all parts of the world, including the United States. Women in Middle Eastern countries are sold to men at a significantly low expense to be placed as wives, or temporary companionship, in return for what exactly? Where does that leave us - with our bodies, minds, and spirits. If we are constantly seeking the approval of the media, men and women - can you ever truly love your skin? I don't think it's possible.
I used to carry a lot more weight, and it was a constant struggle of pleasing everyone but myself. I hated my arms, stomach, but I didn't force my way to skinny. I worked out and sometimes I saw improvements, but it wasn't until I left college and made necessary lifestyle changes. I had to give alcohol up entirely, it took a tole on my natural spirit. I relied on it when things wouldn't go my way, and it changed me. When I graduated I was in the darkest state of mind, I think I've ever been. I had to heal in all categories. I could not process my grief and frustrations properly, there are many times where I still think I don't. But I think it's important to forgive yourself. Yes forgive others, but don't carry that extra weight of broken relationships, regret, and sadness. At the end of the day if you can recognize and self evaluate, you will find that inner strength and confidence that so many of us are desperately searching for. Constant reflection takes courage. It often seems like we are programmed to ultimately seek the approval of others, and maybe that's true - but I say, seek yourself and your love first, you'll be better off.
“When you photograph people in color, you photograph their clothes. But when you photograph people in black and white, you photograph their souls!”
― Ted Grant
Oh, and happy early Valentine's Day to everyone. Especially, to my stellar parents celebrating their 27th anniversary.
Photographed by my beautiful aunt, Linda Amonitti Deladgo.
Wow, that's really all to say. It was amazing to be selected as the featured model for this event hosted by Exposure Pittsburgh, this past Saturday, February 3, 2018. Exposure Pittsburgh is a group of talented artists that choose to do collaborations each month. They chose to step outside of their area and transition into D.C. What can I say, other than it was a blast to create, design, and present work with individuals that share the same passion and vision as you.
I was humbled and incredibly shocked to see the turn out. People traveled that morning to come to the event from Pittsburgh. The creators: Elise and Ray, hand selected applicants to come and participate. I must say not only did they choose some fantastic photographers and models, but also just really great people. It's not everyday you can find a group of millennials who don't really know each other, come from different parts of the East Coast just share collective thoughts, ambitions, and talent on a Saturday. It was quite the visionary.
After this event, I feel more confident than ever to really step out of bounds to create and develop my craft.
Location: Met at the Albert Einstein Memorial.
Visited: Renwick Gallery, Lincoln Memorial, and the National Gallery of Art.
For more photographs, please visit the Museums/Gallery section.
But really, I haven't gone this long without new music from Drake - well see that's the thing, I've never gone this long. Drake is just one of those artists that I won't ever be able to shake from my brain. I'm talking the true fans since Degrassi days. Before he was shot and then handicapped type of love.
Either way, from "Take Care" releasing at the end of my freshman year first semester - you definitely changed my entire perspective about music.
"Nothing Was the Same" you know what's really bizarre about this album is that I didn't really listen to it - I MEAN REALLY LISTEN until the beginning of this year. Drake fans please do not come to my house with pitchforks, forgive me by default. On a serious tip, there are too many songs that I wouldn't have been able to appreciate then, but I certainly can now. Maybe that was God's timing.
"Views" let's just say this album deserves more than a dedicated post to each track explaining how Drake carefully and poetically formed a living masterpiece. I told you, it deserves more than that.
2017's release of "More Life" didn't get as much love from the critics, and several fans. However, I think those people are trash (no offense, but take offense). Drake has two different personalities - one that has a groovy, soca vibe, while the other is just savage mode 24/7. I'm more than okay with that. People can't understand the switch up all the time.
I need to be emotionally involved with you again, so come back with some new music for the culture.
I am always willing and able to work with new people! Do not hesitate to send me any ideas, thoughts, or suggestions about shooting. I have grown to love creating a craft that I can call my own.
The creative community has been nothing but welcoming. I can only hope to work with more friendly, curious like-minded individuals so that we may learn from one another and grow in craft.
Be the first to hear about new blog posts.