“Do you think I can have one more kiss?
I’ll find closure on your lips and then I’ll go.
Maybe, also, one more breakfast, one more lunch, and one more dinner.
I’ll be full and happy and we can part.
But, in between meals, maybe we can lie in bed one more time?
One more prolonged moment where time suspends indefinitely as I rest my head on your chest.
MY hope is if we add up the one more’s, they will equal a lifetime.
And I’ll never have to get to the part where I let you go.
But that’s not real, is it?
There are no more ‘one mores.’
I met you when everything was new and exciting,
and the possibilities of the world seemed
endless.
And they still are.
For you.
For me.
But not for us.
Somewhere between then and now, here and there–
I guess we didn’t just grow apart…
…we grew UP.
When something breaks,
if the pieces are large enough,
you can fix it.
Unfortunately, sometimes things don’t break.
They shatter,
But when you let the light in, shattered glass will glitter.
And in those moments – when the pieces of what we were catch the sun – I’ll remember just how beautiful it was.
Just how beautiful it will always be.
Because it was us.
And we were magic.
Forever.”
Have you ever experienced this?
A part of me died inside when I watched this scene because I felt every part of it.
Sometimes we want to hold onto these ideas and ideals that we are familiar with,
that we were raised on.
But life happens while we're counting down the days.
Counting down the moments.
Jotting down the memories.
I didn't realize that time changes who we are as people.
Sometimes it changes what we want,
what we knew to be true,
our intentions,
and our overall ambitions or desires.
I think we forget that as we are growing and changing,
so are the people that we love around us.
This happened to me.
To my relationship with my ex,
to my friendships with people.
As I grew up, so did they.
In the end we weren't what we needed from each other.
And that's okay.
We were what we needed for that moment in time.
"I rather be like that then like you.
I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care.
Oh! You've think you won because women are expendable to you.
You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either.
You have not won.
You're alone, Alex.
I may do a lot of stupid shit but I know I'm a lot closer at finding someone than you are."
I really love this movie.
I love this film primarily because of all the different people and scenarios that so many of us go through trying to find 'the one'.
Sometimes maybe you don't find the one, maybe you just find yourself along the way.
Most women don't like to hear that answer.
I think it's how we were raised.
We were programmed, built and designed to find and attract suitable partners.
Often when women find themselves being unable to do that very thing - we internalize and project.
We project our insecurities, fears, doubts and worries onto other people.
Most women don't even realize they are doing it, but then you also have men.
Men are programmed, built and designed to tend to the flock instead of one sheep.
I don't know why. I would say it could be due to societal norms and how they were ultimately raised on how to be men and what makes you a man.
When GiGi puts a mirror up for Alex to see, it's almost as if he's seeing her for the first time.
He realizes that they both are in the same position just with different perspectives.
For me, I don't want to stop trying, because I don't want to stop caring.
Just because its been hard, doesn't mean one day it won't be worth it.
"There are 82 letters in here and they are all addressed to you.
I wrote them all this summer.
One a day, but I was afraid.
I was afraid of getting my heartbroken again.
Like before.
Because you hurt me so bad, and I was afraid of you and the way that you make me feel.
And I know that doesn’t matter now after what I did – but this is how I spent my summer, Luke.
Wanting you.
I was just too scared to admit it.”
This is like a soft blow to the chest, because I am reminded of how vivid and intense my emotions can be.
Last year I was completely broken, by part of my own hand.
I spent the rest of the summer wanting you.
Missing you.
Pining over you.
Praying about you.
Praying to forget you.
Sometimes we are too afraid to really put ourselves out there.
I mean can you even blame anybody?
It’s tough out here.
And it’s even worse when that rejection is coming from someone you love.
The truth is - I spent my entire year hoping you’d find your way back to me.
But I’ll probably never admit that you.
In this moment, Brooke is so brave when she confronts Lucas.
I wish I had that bravery.
I admire her strength, resilience and courage to put herself out there.
This is the first time they say ‘I love you’ to one another, and I guess it’s imagined how our first time would be too.
Honest in the purest form of love and forgiveness.
"I hate the way you talk to me
And the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare
I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind
I hate you so much that it makes me sick
It even makes me ryhme
I hate the way you're always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh
Even worse when you make me cry
I hate the way you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all."
Who doesn’t feel some type of way when they watch this?
10 things I hate about you is actually in the top 5 category of favorite films for me.
Sometimes we get disappointed by the people we love.
Sometimes we might be the ones to fall short of another person's expectations.
Frankly, I think we are all too hard on each other especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
Instead of your typical poem about love – she talks about what she hates about him instead.
“But mostly I hate the way that I don’t hate you.
Not even close.
Not even a little bit.
Not even at all.”
You can hate things about a person, but not hate them at all.
Maybe that's why when it feels real, it's almost never easy.
“But I guess if I love you, I should let you move on.”
I think the reason why that scene means so much to me is because I had this moment.
I was in college and Mphatso was looking for guidance on what she should do with her feelings.
I didn’t know what to say to her, so I showed her that clip.
I remember the tears strolling down her face, and at the time I really couldn’t understand why.
It wasn’t until after she died that I re-watched that clip.
I knew.
I knew exactly how she felt.
How it feels to love someone so much that you become selfish, angry, and versions of yourself that you never intended to be.
In that moment he realizes that if I truly love you, I should give you the opportunity to be happy.
I think that’s one of the hardest parts – maybe realizing you two aren’t good for one another.
But that doesn’t mean the love wasn’t real, maybe it just wasn’t right.
“So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you.
I want all of you, forever, everyday.
You and me... everyday.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
Have you ever pictured your life with somebody?
You’ve imagined a future with them.
A real future.
Not something made up through fairytales, daydreams or fantasy.
You and him.
Or you and her.
You can see it – it’s like we’re at the edge and near the top of the hill, but we never do fully reach the other side.
Maybe it’s because we don’t know how to fully express ourselves properly.
Noah says, “I lost you once. I think I can do it again if it’s what you wanted.
What do you want?”
Do you know?
Have you ever asked yourself that question?
Have you ever given yourself a real answer?
Do you have any clue of what you truly desire?
For me, that scene hits home twice.
I feel like I’m in both Noah and Allie’s position.
I’ve lost you once and now I’ve managed to pick myself back up.
And now I don’t have the slightest idea of what I want.
What I want from you.
What I want from us.
So maybe I should just go...
"I loved her.
I loved her so much.
And I ask her everyday why she did what she did, but I get no answers.
She took those with her when she left. Leaving me, leaving all of us - angry, empty and confused.
And I know that hurt won't ever go away, but there will come a day where I don't feel it everyday.
And the anger won't be so hot.
And the other feelings will fade.
And I'll be left with only love.
A good friend once said, "I can love you and still let you go."
So Hannah, I love you and I let you go.
I miss you.
And I hope that wherever you go next, you feel peace, you feel safe.
In a way that you never did here.
Wherever you go next, I hope you know that I love you."
- Clay, 13 Reasons Why
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